Reading between the lines…
Chamcha In Chief,Pankaj Vohara.
Here in Delhi, there is a news paper called the ‘Hindustan Times’, a paper about whom our Dear old dirty man once commented “The worst news paper with the highest circulation”, probably it was the largest circulated then, but is it now still the largest circulated (?), I doubt it I believe,it is the TOI.
But then this is not the point of debate for me at all, let them sort it out themselves.
Now, I have been reading this paper for close to about 30 yrs. That is, I started reading, when I was just seven or eight years old, primarily because this was what my father used to read and the only paper he subscribed to. Now, since I know a little bit more about newspapers I can say with some authority that newspaper reading (any one, which you have been reading) is a habit forming one, a mechanical choice, an addiction, just like smoking. All the time you know it (the newspaper that you read) is bullshit or that smoking is injurious to health yet, we keep on reading the shit and smoking our lungs black.
But now after smoking for close to 20 years I have quit smoking (Yes! I have done that, believe me I have), therefore I am determined to kick this paper out too and switch over to some sane and objective newspaper.
Not for a moment have I ever doubted their closeness/subservience to Congress and Madame, but for some time they are just going overboard. You read it any day and it seems as if some congress spokesperson is writing all this stuff. I would be better if they start calling them selves “The Congress Times”.OK!
At least then readers will know exactly what to expect, this façade of being an objective and impartial newspaper is an insult to we readers.
Just as always, Shri Pankaj Vohara has come out with yet another shining example of sycophancy, in praise of Madame Sonia.
Oh! Aha! Sonia.
Let us read what Mr.Chamcha in Chief has to offer….
Just as I always do,I will speak between the lines.
As always my communal and rabid interruptions are in communal color.
The selection of Rajasthan Governor Pratibha Patil as the UPA-Left candidate for the presidential election has sent two signals to the political circles. First, Patil could become the first woman to occupy the august office and by choosing her, the UPA-Left combine has tried to reach out to the women constituency.
So the spinning starts right from the very fist ball bowled… “…could become the first woman to occupy the august office…” blatant lie and an after thought Mr.Vohara.
Second, her choice over …please see ‘over’. Over!? prominent Congress leaders including serving Cabinet ministers emphatically indicates that loyalty to the Congress, …read Madame Sonia. Had Mr. APJ had this ‘quality’ Madame would not have to make that sacrifice, you know!… political consistency …what does it mean Pankaj? ‘Political consistency’…like the ‘journalistic consistency’ you are blessed with????…and secular credentials … Secular? What do you mean Pankaj? Do you mean APJ is not secular? Why? Just because! Because, BJP supported him? are central to the nomination of any functionary to a top position. The choice was also governed by the fact that Patil is a low-profile personality and probably will never flex… ‘Never flex’, OH! You mean total and abject surrender in front of mother queen and crown prince? Haan!… her muscles the way some others could have done,…Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!…so Pankaj you know the Congressmen don’t you?… had they been chosen and elected. …So we are officially told now, why Pranab Mukherjee was not made PM and why was ManMohan handpicked? Hummmm! BTW, I had always been saying this Pankaj.And I am proven right. If she is so afraid of making Paranb Mukherjee as even a seemingly harmless ‘President’, how could she have made him PM? O Mukherjee Dada! I pity youI do really feel sorry for you. My heart felt sympathies are with you Sir…see I too am sobbing….. Where are you? Dada, come let us embrace and console each other…Oyi! Baba!
However, Patil’s election as the President may not be a cakewalk even though the UPA-Left coalition has got the required numbers. Congress managers especially party president Sonia Gandhi’s political secretary Ahmed Patel, who played an important role in getting the allies to agree …OH! GETTING ALLIES AGRREED TO!… OH! Wah Janab Wah!…now I know what Off Spin is’…. to Patil’s name, will have to work overtime to ensure her success. The election will have to be managed in a professional…Of Course! In a professional manner yes…like closing Taj Corridor case for Maya Professional Step 1,choosing to ignore Laloo’s antics step no 2, Helping Guru Ghantal Shibhu Soren to avoid arrest for murder, after meeting the Home Minister Pro.Step 3,..4 ….5…6….sorry I have forgotten many and letting left do all they can ….so many professional ways. Indeed! You are right Mr.Vohara… manner, and not in the casual way like it was done during some recent assembly elections.
The stakes are too high for the Congress ..Oh! Aha! Sonia!... and any setback could have serious repercussions for the UPA at the Centre. This is something the UPA constituents cannot afford,…yes this UPA “Unholy Perverts Alliance” is more important…India and Indians be damned!… especially since no one wants a mid-term poll. …BTW, who? Except all these worthies, and of course, some many ‘journalists’ too. Who else you are you talking about?... The UPA must exercise caution because many Congress MPs had voted against their party candidate during the last vice-presidential elections in which Bhairon Singh Shekhawat humbled Sushilkumar Shinde by more votes than the NDA had in its kitty. So Mr.Shekhawat used UN fair means? Or was simply more popular?…your comments…Pankaj?
Elections are not always won because required numbers are on one’s side. In realpolitik, several other considerations come into play particularly when a political person like Shekhawat is the other candidate. Ideally speaking, Shekhawat who has had a very successful political innings should not contest but retire gracefully…smells like a veiled threat, Pankaj… and allow a woman … a virtue is being made out of neccessaity,just as Sonia’s so called sacrifice was made one… to occupy the august office as a consensus candidate. But ideal …Yak! Ideal mean the one which suits u know whom?… situations are rare, and unheard of, in politics and grace…Mr.Pankaj means that since Mr.Shekhawat, who is also Vice President of India is devoid of any grace since he refuses to give a walk over to Madame Sonia oops She Patil!!!! Though I am not a spokesperson for any one and still I am audacious to dare call self as Prudent Indian, May I ask you Madame Mrs. Patil why you not refuse this candidature and show some grace? Since you had never been a choice, at all?… is an attribute which very few of our politicians possess. And not ‘any one’ of so called ‘journalist’ of your ilk, either, my dear Pankaj.
The practical…as if you have a choice… thing, therefore, is to expect a fierce contest between Patil who has the numbers, and Shekhawat who has guile… ‘Guile’, Please check its synonyms… and experience. On the chessboard, the difference between the ruling alliance and its allies on one side and that of the combined opposition on the other is not very high. There is every possibility that big money…of course BIG money Mr.Pankaj…Bofors, Q, Volcker, Mitorkien, Currently exposed…. Amrinder Singh asking money for AICC (on secular, liberal and progressive NDTV) expose and R.K.Anand…all big money bags …INDEED! Big Money… can also play a role in influencing independent legislators whose voting strength is estimated to be over 68,000. And since the voting is going to be through secret ballot…Oh! How Sad Pankaj! Why do we just can not do just like AICC? Let you guys pass a resolution that ‘Madame Sonia is entrusted with the responsibility to take decision on the behalf of Indians”, and …lo and behold…there is The President for you, O Billion Plus Indians, just like a rabbit out of hat…, the possibility of disgruntled elements in the ruling alliance indulging in cross voting cannot be ruled out…now Paankaj you really know Congress men/women, babas and babes. I am sure. You really know them. No doubt.
One estimate indicates that there are almost 40 MPs who could defy their respective party’s choice of candidate and vote on the basis of personal equations with the candidate, or on the basis of their community. This is not to suggest that every member of a candidate’s community will vote for him or her. But the possibility exists.
If Shekhawat enters the fray as an independent candidate, backed by the NDA and other opposition groups, he will use his immense political skills to reach out to the electorate. The BJP and its managers will help him put up a tough fight for the Congress and its allies. Shekhawat is a formidable opponent, even if the numbers do not add up in his favour at this stage…but you suggested few lines back. That ‘he’ is not graceful…didn’t you?
If the Congress and its partners fail in their mission,…WOW! MISSION Save India from the clutches of ‘Communal’ forces and delivers to ‘Castiest’ forces…Hail! Secularism… it may change the face of Indian politics. …Thanks God for Small Mercies…you did not say ‘it may change the face of India’... In fact, the presidential polls could very well pave the way for a re-alignment of forces, both within and outside the two existing alliances. This could precipitate a crisis for which the ruling alliance must be mentally prepared. There are many in the Congress itself who feel that a woman candidate is all very well, but Patil as the final choice can pose problems. The party managers,… and dedicated and committed and loyal soldiers in media too masquerading as journalists, too… thus, need to overcome these hurdles and convince …just as dutifully as you been doing and without even, baiting an eyelid in the service of Madame… everyone about the choice. Others …so let them…Madame and family gives a damn… are upset that the Congress was bulldozed into releasing a name other than those shortlisted by the Left and allies.
But coalition politics is all about accommodation and not confrontation. For instance, Home Minister Shivraj Patil was supposed to have been the Congress president’s first choice. He would have made a good president …Oh! Yes! He would have, but not because of his competence. But because a friend calls him a Walking Zombie… but then Sonia Gandhi was not expected …well she tried all she could but was vetoed.Mr.Pankaj I am afraid you are an innocent victim of selective amnesia… to push his name beyond a point. She gave up on him when she witnessed hostility from the Left. She was acting not only as the Congress president but also as the UPA chairperson. …again a virtue is being made out of necessity…since she could not…so she sacrificed!?
Old-timers like M.L.Fotedar recall that it is a Congress tradition that the names doing the initial rounds are never the ones in the final discussions. Strategically, it is a political masterstroke. …Mr.Pankaj and yet you accuse all others of politicizing all the issues.Haan! In this case too, the Congress was able to get its candidate accepted …accepted???… Joke of the day… by its allies and partners after the initial names were eliminated on one pretext or the other. And, in any case, … Pankaj subscribes to Gobbels,’a lie told repeatedly is ultimately accepted as truth’… the Congress wanted to appeal to women, and also select a non-controversial candidate. …so he is implying APJ was controversial one?.. well for chamachas of his ilk he was irritant and eye sore because Madame had to make such a great sacrifice…kyon theek kaha na Pankaj?.
The question is whether the selected candidate will win against her more famous …you just said above Pankaj , “who has guile” … rival and whether the Congress-UPA-Left choice will get the electorate’s endorsement. Much will depend on the unrealised ambitions of many politicians. But with fair play …read if Sonia’s compelled choice wins…then it is fair… and voting on expected lines, Patil will certainly be the next President. If the result is different, then the country will not only have a new president but also a new Prime Minister. Yes! Good Riddance. Between us. No! Good Riddance. FOR US.
I am sure Pankaj just as I have stopped smoking after 20 years of addiction. I am quitting reading this so called news paper from this day onwards.
Do write to Pankaj Vohara here
email@example.com or meet him at some where
near 10 Janpath.